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Monday, December 11

Haiku Revieu | American Assassin

Monday, December 11
American Assassin

Poor acting and plot
This movie is terrible
Don't bother with it

After the death of his girlfriend at the hands of terrorists, Mitch Rapp is drawn into the world of counterterrorism, mentored by tough-as-nails former U.S. Navy S.E.A.L. Stan Hurley.

Disclaimer: It's been a while since I saw this movie, so this review might be less articulate and thoughtful than it could be.

I went to see American Assassin on a whim—a friend bought tickets and invited us. I'd heard some friends rave about the movie, and although it's not the typical kind of film I go see in the theater, I was willing to give it a chance. Plus, we didn't have other plans that evening.

From pretty much the very beginning of the film, I found myself cringing. The movie is overtly "AMERICA, FUCK YEAH" and leans into the "brown people are the enemy" trope in a really lazy way. It tries to circumvent said trope with the actual villains of the film, who are—spoiler alert—white American men, but by the time it gets around to that reveal, the damage is already done. The action sequences are typical and the plot obvious. Had it leaned into the cheese, I might have liked it more, but this movie takes itself very seriously.

It was really hard for me to take Dylan O'Brien seriously in the main character role. He's supposed to be a "super spy," but either he's not a great actor or the character is just a really crappy spy. And then there's Taylor Kitsch, whose appeal I've never understood. (Don't @ me.) Also, poor guy's hairline is flat out running from his eyebrows, and thinking about that had me distracted for most of the movie. (Which, maybe, was actually a good thing?) The other characters are either ridiculously over dramatic—in the case of Michael Keaton's Stan Hurley—or flat stereotypes.

As the credits rolled, our friends and we looked at each other, and the one who'd bought the tickets actually apologized. (In case you're wondering, we're still friends.) If you didn't catch this one in theaters, good on ya.

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