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Monday, December 11

Haiku Revieu | American Assassin

Monday, December 11
American Assassin
★

Poor acting and plot
This movie is terrible
Don't bother with it



After the death of his girlfriend at the hands of terrorists, Mitch Rapp is drawn into the world of counterterrorism, mentored by tough-as-nails former U.S. Navy S.E.A.L. Stan Hurley.



Disclaimer: It's been a while since I saw this movie, so this review might be less articulate and thoughtful than it could be.

I went to see American Assassin on a whim—a friend bought tickets and invited us. I'd heard some friends rave about the movie, and although it's not the typical kind of film I go see in the theater, I was willing to give it a chance. Plus, we didn't have other plans that evening.

From pretty much the very beginning of the film, I found myself cringing. The movie is overtly "AMERICA, FUCK YEAH" and leans into the "brown people are the enemy" trope in a really lazy way. It tries to circumvent said trope with the actual villains of the film, who are—spoiler alert—white American men, but by the time it gets around to that reveal, the damage is already done. The action sequences are typical and the plot obvious. Had it leaned into the cheese, I might have liked it more, but this movie takes itself very seriously.

It was really hard for me to take Dylan O'Brien seriously in the main character role. He's supposed to be a "super spy," but either he's not a great actor or the character is just a really crappy spy. And then there's Taylor Kitsch, whose appeal I've never understood. (Don't @ me.) Also, poor guy's hairline is flat out running from his eyebrows, and thinking about that had me distracted for most of the movie. (Which, maybe, was actually a good thing?) The other characters are either ridiculously over dramatic—in the case of Michael Keaton's Stan Hurley—or flat stereotypes.

As the credits rolled, our friends and we looked at each other, and the one who'd bought the tickets actually apologized. (In case you're wondering, we're still friends.) If you didn't catch this one in theaters, good on ya.

Check it out:


Friday, December 8

Haiku Revieu | The Hitman's Bodyguard

Friday, December 8
The Hitman's Bodyguard
★★★

Deadpool and Windu
They drop the f-bomb a lot
Good "odd couple" laughs



The world's top bodyguard gets a new client, a hit man who must testify at the International Court of Justice. They must put their differences aside and work together to make it to the trial on time.



Disclaimer: It's been a while since I saw this movie, so this review might be less articulate and thoughtful than it could be.

The Hitman's Bodyguard is one of those movies that comes out of nowhere and quietly goes in and out of theaters. It's a bit surprising, considering the caliber of talent in it—Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L. Jackson and Salma Hayek—but I don't remember seeing much in the way of promotion before getting an email about attending a pre-release screening.

Reynolds being one of Colt's faves, we couldn't pass up the opportunity. And we both enjoyed the movie, perhaps more than we thought we would. Reynolds and Jackson played delightfully well off of each other, and their quippy dialogue was a lot of fun. Hayek's character was quite far removed from other roles I've seen her play, and hearing her curse up a storm while sporting a lot of (prison?) tattoos was great.

The plot was pretty standard for the sort of thriller/action movie that it was, but it had a few twists that made it enjoyable.

If you see this one airing on TV at some point, I recommend giving it a watch. (Though, if it's on cable, it might lose some of its magic with all the curse words dubbed out ...)

Check it out:


Thursday, December 7

2017 Curtismas Card Exchange

Thursday, December 7

It's December again, which means that it's time for another Curtismas Card Exchange!

For the past six years, I've swapped holiday cards with friends from all over the world. Receiving—and sending—holiday cards is one of my favorite parts of the holiday season.

If you'd like to receive a card from The Murtis1 this holiday season, please fill out the form below. Non-US participants welcome!

And if you're willing and able to send a card to us in return, we'd love it! Just add your email address to the bottom of the form and I'll send you our mailing address.



I hope to see your name on the list!


1 The Murtis = Murray (my maiden name) + Curtis. It's a nickname that we were given before we got married, and it stuck.
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